Male Comic Friends: Philip Parker

A friend (who also does the comedy circuit) l was hanging out with a lot the last month, and that seemed to enjoy me and my company “broke up with me” because he “doesn’t know how to be friends with a lady” or how to keep his overbearing desire to “date me” from interfering with being a (good) friend.

I spent 2 hours helping him edit and improve a showcase poster, including convincing him to add the comic’s names on the flyer and tags in the description (you know, to help SHOWCASE this month’s talent), but he was unable to tell “Sailor Rowdy” any of that when approached about Rowdy wanting to drop out (because Kate Loice makes him feel funny inside).

He’s also unable to tell any comic anything positive about me because he’s too afraid, and because I don’t want to super commit and be bf/gf. Because, basically, to him – If you date me, I will defend you. If you don’t, I will abandon you, because your friendship isn’t worth (i.e. YOU aren’t worth) me stepping out of the Comic Coward Zone and risking backlash for merely trying to say “Hay! She’s not that bad! And look she’s out as much as me and the dude comics are AND she was like super excited and down to help me with my show posters, show pages (that I still haven’t created), social media “advertising” (that doesn’t exist outside of Do512 *and Eventbrite), and oh yeah, anything that helps the comics I booked get more exposure, photos to use and share, and experience outside of what directly benefits me/fills my dangerously overinflated Angry White Male Comic ego.”

But most importantly – we should be very concerned that a male in the community attempted to use his “power” (I know, I know, but let’s try not to laugh too hard at that, we don’t want to hurt his fragile ego) to persuade a female in the community to date him – or else he would let her burn while also outcasting her himself, since she isn’t willing to super commit and not leave a mic without getting his permission first.

Super not cool, “Spill Marker.”

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