People tell “victims” to avoid “playing the victim.”
“Don’t let your trauma define you.”
“Don’t be a victim! Be a survivor! Be a warrior!”
“Don’t believe the entire world is out to get you”
“Oh but shoooot, like DON’T ‘fight back’ the next time a group or individual attacks you and someone/something IS very clearly against you.”
So what the fuck is a victim to do?
If we strip the label victim and strap on warrior, we are then “fighting” and “aggressive” and people will tell us we are playing victim.
If we hide in fear and just take the abuse, smile and comply even while wrongs are being done to us, people will tell us we are playing victim.
If we publicize our stories, if we try to get others to understand our traumas or understand who we are and why we behave certain ways, people will tell us we are playing the victim.
If we are angry? Victim.
Too emotionally distraught and anxious to perform an open mic or stand up comedy contest? Victim.
Stays with abuser and protects children for 3 years while absorbing all of his abuse and pain since fleeing meant he’d kill us? Victim AND unprotective Mother.
Fight back against CPS, Ad Litem, and Family Courts who stole victim’s children? Victim.
I can’t help be think that it’s others who are too quick to call “playing victim,” or are too blind to see that a victim can be a warrior and survivor all at the same time.
And that for some reason, people fucking hate victims. Especially once they’ve found some fight in them.
Perhaps it’s less that victims are “playing victim,” and more that society is quick to victimize, victim blame, and victim shame.