Poor thing. I’m a comic AND a blogger (and an activist) and each one helps promote the other. It’s probably why I would bet more comics know of me and my name/face than they know you, and boy I bet that is part of what really fuels the half of you that hates me.
And listen, I don’t have to follow your “rules” of how to “do comedy” or to “PERFORM EVERY SINGLE MIC EVERY SINGLE TIME” in order to be a comic and be a part of the Austin Comedy scene. I am, and I am. Suck it.
You can say I’m not a comic, you can threaten me, and you can stick up for your friends like Chad Fisher and Mikey Swenson and Lea’h Sampson who have all publicly and verbally harassed me at comedy events yet you say THEY’RE the victims and I’m the bad guy for shining a light on their bullshit and toxic behavior – I don’t think so. But your attempts at gaslighting (or their success) doesn’t work with me. Your narrative is a lie.
I love you, I really do. I’m so sorry you believe you don’t deserve happiness and that you CANT be my friend (goodbye forever, remember?) AND have your comedy, and I’m so sorry your life is so sad because of those things. Most of all, I’m sorry you seem to still be blaming me for ALL of the pain in your life, or that you believe I “seduced you” or that YOU were some vulnerable victim in any way after they took my kids and YOU encouraged and inspired me to go back to comedy.
I was careful to ask about going further with our friendship and I did it over text so you wouldn’t feel pressured in person. You enjoyed every fuck, every time, and the feeling was always consensual and mutual. And it would have been even better than before the other night, but as always, I didn’t push you once you decided we shouldn’t.
You spent two hours tearing me apart – you told me every single hurtful thing about almost every area of my life someone could have told me. I sat in my car for thirty minutes reeling from the judgements and victim blaming and shame I stood there and took like a punching bag, because I thought after you got that out we could move on to healing (and no that’s not a sex joke – but lol)…but it turned out to just be two hours of me telling you I care about you, I love you, and that you DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND LOVED, while you obliterated me and every thing I am (mother, Comic, woman, victim, warrior, Blogger, daughter, lover, friend, human) – and that was it.
And, while your words are still hurting me today, I don’t regret everything I did to get you to Mugshots so we could have that talk. I don’t regret being a punching bag and not once defending myself or arguing. I was hoping it could be a beginning of us repairing friendship and rebuilding trust, because I do truly care about and love you (platonically), and I do believe you need AND DESERVE someone to care and support you like I know I have and would still – but, you believe it is impossible given the community we have in common.
I hope this post doesn’t hurt you – if Comics start bothering you with questions again, send them to me. Tell them to fuck off and ask the Blogger Comic of Austin Comedy – don’t let them bother you or bring you down. That’s bullshit. Tell them to grow a pair and ask Kate Loice herself.
And if this causes you any harm with comedy events or peeps, find a way to tell me so I can address it. Otherwise I will not know, and I don’t think it’s fair for you to hold so much animosity and blame towards me over things I never knew were happening (because you began to ignore and dehumanize me).
I also know that you tell everyone that you don’t read my blog, and that may be true, but I also know someone will show this to you. And it sucks that this is how I have to communicate with you due to the way you believe the toxic community Austin Comedy will punish you for not just bowing your head, blindly moving forward, and never speaking up – keeping you from talking or associating with me WHATSOEVER – another Bullshit rule you and so many other comics make a reality simply because of this lie you tell yourselves!
But, I mean, it also rules knowing I’ll get over 300 hits today and enough people will see and read it that it will be impossible for you to ignore me or my message to you. And that’s probably what REEEEAAAALLLYYY grinds your gears, huh?
Love ya, dude. Holla if you ever grow a pair and can handle a friend/woman like me. K? 😘